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Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::includePlugin() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/plugin_api.inc.php on line 497

Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_s9ymarkup::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_s9ymarkup/serendipity_event_s9ymarkup.php on line 146

Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_s9ymarkup::uninstall() should be compatible with serendipity_plugin::uninstall(&$propbag) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_s9ymarkup/serendipity_event_s9ymarkup.php on line 146

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_entryproperties::uninstall() should be compatible with serendipity_plugin::uninstall(&$propbag) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_entryproperties/serendipity_event_entryproperties.php on line 916

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_emoticate::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_emoticate/serendipity_event_emoticate.php on line 204

Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_emoticate::uninstall() should be compatible with serendipity_plugin::uninstall(&$propbag) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_emoticate/serendipity_event_emoticate.php on line 204

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_browsercompatibility::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_browsercompatibility/serendipity_event_browsercompatibility.php on line 80

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_weblogping::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_weblogping/serendipity_event_weblogping.php on line 262

Strict Standards: Redefining already defined constructor for class Net_URL in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/bundled-libs/Net/URL.php on line 122

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_statistics::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_statistics/serendipity_event_statistics.php on line 989

Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_statistics::uninstall() should be compatible with serendipity_plugin::uninstall(&$propbag) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_statistics/serendipity_event_statistics.php on line 989

Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::get_plugin_title() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/plugin_api.inc.php on line 967

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_spartacus::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_spartacus/serendipity_event_spartacus.php on line 1183

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_photoblog::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_photoblog/serendipity_event_photoblog.php on line 272

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_imageselectorplus::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_imageselectorplus/serendipity_event_imageselectorplus.php on line 1107

Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_imageselectorplus::uninstall() should be compatible with serendipity_plugin::uninstall(&$propbag) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_imageselectorplus/serendipity_event_imageselectorplus.php on line 1107

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Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::probePlugin() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/plugin_api.inc.php on line 542

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_aggregator::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_aggregator/serendipity_event_aggregator.php on line 1755

Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::get_plugin_title() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/plugin_api.inc.php on line 967

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Strict Standards: Declaration of serendipity_event_usergallery::event_hook() should be compatible with serendipity_event::event_hook($event, &$bag, &$eventData, $addData = NULL) in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/plugins/serendipity_event_usergallery/serendipity_event_usergallery.php on line 1391

Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::get_plugin_title() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/plugin_api.inc.php on line 967

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Strict Standards: Non-static method serendipity_plugin_api::hook_event() should not be called statically in /www/htdocs/sporklov/blog/include/functions_config.inc.php on line 523

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Sex und Liebesblog (Artikel mit Tag witzig) http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/ Sex und Liebesblog de Serendipity 1.5.5 - http://www.s9y.org/ Thu, 22 Oct 2009 06:14:36 GMT http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/templates/bulletproof/img/s9y_banner_small.png RSS: Sex und Liebesblog - Sex und Liebesblog http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/ 100 21 Unsere geliebte Tochter soll einen ehrwürdigen und ehrlichen Mann heiraten http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/200-Unsere-geliebte-Tochter-soll-einen-ehrwuerdigen-und-ehrlichen-Mann-heiraten.html Witziges http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/200-Unsere-geliebte-Tochter-soll-einen-ehrwuerdigen-und-ehrlichen-Mann-heiraten.html#comments http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/wfwcomment.php?cid=200 0 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/rss.php?version=2.0&type=comments&cid=200 nospam@example.com (Loverman) Nachdem meine Verlobte und ich uns seit einem Jahr kennen, haben wir beschlossen nächsten Monat zu heiraten. Die Mutter meiner Verlobten, meine zukünftige Schwiegermutter also, ist genial (und ausserdem super sexy). Sie hat sich um alles gekümmert: Zeremonie, Kirche, Fotograf, Abendessen, Blumen, usw. Gestern hat sie mich angerufen. Ich soll bei ihr vorbeikommen um die Liste der Gäste nochmals durchzugehen, und ein paar Namen zu streichen von Personen meiner Familie, da wir zu viele Leute eingeladen haben. Ich bin dann hingefahren, und wir sind durch die Liste gegangen. Schliesslich haben wir uns über 150 Gäste geeignet. Auf ein Mal wurde ich fassungslos, als sie zu mir sagte, ich sei ein sehr attraktiver Mann; in einem Monat würde ich verheiratet sein, und dass dann nichts mehr möglich wäre; also wünschte sie sich nichts anderes als mit mir zu schlafen, und zwar sofort. Sie stand auf und ging voller Sinnlichkeit aufs Schlafzimmer zu. Sie flüsterte mir noch zu, ich wüsste ja sehr gut, wo sich die Haustür befand, falls ich gehen wollte. Ich blieb festgenagelt stehen, fast 3 Minuten lang. Und dann wusste ich, welchen Weg ich gehen würde. Ich rannte zur Haustür, ging hinaus... und fand Ihren Vater lachend an meinem Auto stehen. Ich glaube, er sagte etwas wie:"Wir wollten dich testen, um sicher zu sein, dass unsere geliebte Tochter einen ehrwürdigen und ehrlichen Mann heiratet. Diesen Test hätte ich bestanden." Er küsste mich ohne, dass ich auch nur ein Wort sagen konnte, und gratulierte mir. Das Schlusswort: Zum Glück hatte ich meine Kondome im Auto und nicht in der Hosentasche. Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:14:36 +0200 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/200-guid.html witzig Im Lotto gewonnen http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/199-Im-Lotto-gewonnen.html Witziges http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/199-Im-Lotto-gewonnen.html#comments http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/wfwcomment.php?cid=199 0 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/rss.php?version=2.0&type=comments&cid=199 nospam@example.com (Loverman) ER: SCHATZ, WAS MACHST DU WENN ICH IM LOTTO GEWONNEN HABE??? SIE: Ich nehm mir die Hälfte und hau ab!!! ER: Gut, ich hab 12 Euro gewonnen, hier sind 6 und jetzt verpiss dich... Thu, 22 Oct 2009 08:13:00 +0200 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/199-guid.html witzig So sind Frauen......... ????? http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/67-So-sind-Frauen..........html Für Frauen http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/67-So-sind-Frauen..........html#comments http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/wfwcomment.php?cid=67 0 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/rss.php?version=2.0&type=comments&cid=67 nospam@example.com (Loverman) Meine Frau lernte mich kennen, nicht umgekehrt. Sie stellte mir förmlich nach. Egal wo ich hinkam, sie war schon da. Das ist nun zwölf Jahre her. Damals war ich eingefleischter Motorrad- fahrer, trug nur schwarze Sweat-Shirts, ausgefranste Jeans, Bikerstiefel und ich hatte lange Haare. Selbstverständlich hatte ich auch ein Outfit für besondere Anlässe. Dann trug ich ein schwarzes Sweat-Shirt, ausgefranste Jeans und weiße Turnschuhe. Hausarbeit war ein Übel, dem ich wann immer es möglich war, aus dem Weg ging. Aber ich mochte mich und mein Leben. So also, lernte sie mich kennen. „Du bist mein Traummann. Du bist so männlich, so verwegen und so frei.“ Mit der Freiheit war es alsbald vorbei, da wir beschlossen hatten, zu heiraten. Warum auch nicht, ich war männlich, verwegen, fast frei und ich hatte lange Haare. Allerdings, nur bis zur Hochzeit. Kurz vorher hörte ich sie sagen: „Du könntest wenigstens zum Frisör gehen, schließlich kommen meine Eltern zur Trauung.“ Stunden – nein Tage später und endlose Tränen weiter, gab ich nach und lies mir eine modische Kurzhaarfrisur verpassen, denn schließlich liebte ich sie und was soll´s, ich war männlich, verwegen, fast frei und es zog auf meinem Kopf. Und ich war soooo lieb. „Schatz, ich liebe Dich so, wie Du bist“ hauchte sie. Das Leben war in Ordnung, obwohl es auf dem Kopf etwas kühl war. Es folgten Wochen friedlichen Zusammenseins, bis meine Frau eines Tages mit einer großen Tüte unterm Arm vor mir stand. Sie holte ein Hemd, einen Pullunder (bei dem Wort läuft es mir schon eiskalt den Rücken runter) und eine neue Hose hervor und sagte: „Probier das bitte mal an.“ Tage – Wochen – nein Monate und endlose Papiertaschentücher weiter, gab ich nach und trug Hemden, Pullunder (Ärrgh) und Stoffhosen. Es folgten schwarze Schuhe, Sakkos, Krawatten und Designermäntel. Aber ich war männlich, verwegen, totchick und es zog auf meinem Kopf. Dann folgte der größte Kampf. Der Kampf, um das MOTORRAD. Allerdings dauerte der nicht sehr lange, denn im schwarzen Anzug, der ständig kneift und zwickt, lässt es sich nicht sehr gut kämpfen. Außerdem drückten die Lackschuhe, was mich auch mürbe machte. Aber was soll´s, ich war männlich, spießig, fast frei, fuhr einen Kombi und es zog auf meinem Kopf. Mit den Jahren folgten viele Kämpfe, die ich allesamt in einem Meer von Tränen verlor. Ich spülte, bügelte, kaufte ein, lernte deutsche Schlager auswendig, trank lieblichen Rotwein und ging Sonntags spazieren. Was soll´s, dachte ich, ich war ein Weichei, war gefangen, fühlte mich Scheiße und es zog auf meiner Birne. Eines schönen Tages, stand meine Frau mit gepackten Koffern vor mir und sagte: „Ich verlasse Dich.“ Völlig erstaunt, fragte ich sie nach dem Grund. „Ich liebe Dich nicht mehr, denn Du hast Dich so verändert. Du bist nicht mehr der Mann, den ich mal kennen gelernt habe.“ Vor kurzem traf ich sie wieder. Ihr „NEUER“ ist ein langhaariger Biker mit zerrissenen Jeans und Tätowierungen, der mich mitleidig ansah. Ich glaube, ich werde ihm eine Mütze schicken. Wed, 26 Dec 2007 20:43:24 +0100 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/67-guid.html Frauenwunsch witzig Für Männer um nicht einkaufen zu gehen http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/45-Fuer-Maenner-um-nicht-einkaufen-zu-gehen.html Witziges http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/45-Fuer-Maenner-um-nicht-einkaufen-zu-gehen.html#comments http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/wfwcomment.php?cid=45 0 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/rss.php?version=2.0&type=comments&cid=45 nospam@example.com (Loverman) kleine Tipps um nicht mit einkaufen gehen zu müssen Deshalb sollten Frauen ihre Männer nicht gegen deren Willen zum Einkaufen mitnehmen: Nachdem Herr und Frau Ressel pensioniert waren, bestand Frau Ressel auf die Begleitung ihres Mannes bei ihren Einkaufsbummeln bei Karstadt. Unglücklicherweise war Herr Ressel wie die meisten Männer: er fand Einkaufen langweilig. Ebenso unglücklicherweise war Frau Ressel wie die meisten Frauen und liebte es endlos zu stöbern. Jedoch - eines Tages bekam sie folgenden Brief von der Karstadt-Verwaltung: Sehr geehrte Frau Ressel, in den letzten 6 Monaten sorgte Ihr Mann leider für einigen Aufruhr in unserem Warenhaus. Wir können dies nicht länger tolerieren und sehen uns gezwungen, Ihnen beiden künftig Hausverbot zu erteilen. Die soweit rekonstruierbaren Vorfälle haben wir nachstehend aufgelistet. Sie sind durch Aufzeichnungen von Überwachungskameras und die Aussagen unseres Personals belegt: 1. 15. Juni: Nimmt 24 Schachtel Kondome aus dem Regal und verteilt sie wahllos auf die Einkaufswägen anderer Kunden. 2. 2. Juli: Stellt die Alarme aller Wecker in der Uhrenabteilung so ein, dass es alle 5 Minuten klingelt. 3. 7. Juli: Legt eine Tomatensaftspur bis zur Damentoilette 4. 19. Juli: Verstellt ein "Vorsicht - frisch gewischt!" - Schild in eine mit Teppich ausgelegte Abteilung. 5. 4. August: Baut ein Zelt in der Campingabteilung auf und lädt andere Kunden ein, wenn sie Kissen und Decken aus der Bettenabteilung holen. 6. 15. September: Als ihn ein Angestellter fragt, ob er ihm behilflich sein könne, beginnt er zu weinen und schluchzt: "Könnt ihr Leute mich denn nicht einfach in Frieden lassen!?" 7. 23 September: Starrt in eine Überwachungskamera und benutzt sie als Spiegel zum Nasebohren. 8. 4. Oktober: Hantiert in der Sportabteilung mit einem Wettkampf-Bogen und fragt den Angestellten, ob man im Haus Antidepressiva bekommt. 9. 10. November: Schleicht durch die Abteilungen und summt dabei laut das "Mission-Impossible"- Thema. 10. 3. Dezember: Versteckt sich in einem Kleiderständer und ruft, wenn eine Kundin in die Nähe kommt "Nimm mich! Nimm mich!" 11. 6 Dezember: Wirft sich bei jeder Lautsprecherdurchsage auf den Boden, nimmt eine fötale Lage ein und ruft "OH NEIN! NICHT WIEDER DIESE STIMMEN!" Und- nicht zuletzt: 12. 18. Dezember: Begibt sich in eine Umkleidekabine, wartet eine Weile und ruft dann laut: "Hey! Hier ist das Klopapier alle" Hochachtungsvoll, Warenhausverwaltung Tue, 16 Oct 2007 07:29:27 +0200 http://www.blog.lovehotline.de/archives/45-guid.html frauenwunsch männerwunsch witzig wunsch